You Deserve Better

“The highs and lows of a relationship should NOT include abuse.” -Ibbie

⁣You’ve convinced yourself that the back and forth, berating, gaslighting, inconsideration for your feelings, fighting, tearing each other apart, and hating yourself through the process is part of a normal relationship.⠀

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You’ve convinced yourself that because you’ve been through so much together, you know so much about each other, and you refuse to give up on each other, it means you’re meant to be.⠀

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Their cycle of loving you, being sexual with you, comforting you and then devaluing you and making you feel like crap is NOT normal.⠀

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That’s not destiny. ⠀

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And it’s definitely not a soulmate-ship.⠀

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Neither emotional, mental nor physical abuse is normal.

Common, but not normal.

And definitely NOT ACCEPTABLE. ⠀

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Yes, relationships are A LOT. ⠀

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It’s two (or more) completely separate humans coming together to move as a unit.

It’s tough. It’s challenging. And it can be demanding.

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But it’s not losing yourself to accommodate someone’s ego.⠀

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It’s not a consistent roller coaster of you questioning and doubting yourself and the relationship.

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It’s not one person dangling love in front of you then snatching it away and keeping you begging for more.⠀

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It’s not you being the only one working toward a change while they make you feel like it’s all your fault. ⠀

It’s not.

You’re seeking validation and approval from the same person who is taking it from you.⠀

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This is not the “highs and lows” of a relationship. This is a trauma bond.⠀

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And you’ve convinced yourself that this behavior is normal so you don’t have to walk away. ⠀

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You refuse to see that a truly healthy relationship is possible for you because of your past, because that’s all you know, because you don’t believe healthy love can exist for you. ⠀

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But none of that defines you.

We all require a certain amount of healing to see that what we’re tolerating is worth substantially less than what we deserve.⠀

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But once you reach that level of healing, you will literally become a magnet for beautiful and healthy love. ⠀

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Yes, highs and lows will come. But don’t let it take pieces of you with it.⠀

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You deserve the very best ❤️